It was the day before the almost-two-week New Year holiday. Cheerful as I should have been, I was only feeling overwhelming stress. I assume this was not stimulated by the high expectation I held over my holiday although I did make big plans. Frankly, being the first possibility to be eliminated on the list, overexpectation was usually the case for me. But I trust my observation this time, at least for the prelimenary result. So, where does my depression come from?
Big question. So it only adds to the burden trying to avoid it from happening, but I'm doing it anyway. What puzzles me was that there's zero clues left that I could have foreseen such a matter striking when I'd been over the top just one day before trying to figure out a master plan for this holiday. Satisfied I'd been to have given myself some guidelines to fill the gaps so that I need not improvise (I myself am not easily entertained in stressful moments, especially when the holiday clock is ticking).
Perhaps it's a "collateral damage" of periods (I used to think it's an excuse for mood swing (and a sabotage on women's independence), but now that I've experienced it first hand, I have to retrieve those comments)? Or/and I worried something would come up and ruin my expected-to-be-happy holiday somehow?
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